| This is where the caveman breaks up into two groups. Group 1. will attempt to use tried and tested tools and methods Group 2 will attempt to improve on group 1's design. Group 1 applied auto body work techniques: Sandpaper, rubbing compound, drills, buffers, goggles. Group 2. applied finish wood work techniques: Sandpaper, rubbing compound, drills, buffers, gloves and time consuming elbow grease. Both proclaiming to be the best, while both are based on the same techniques and the only difference is one caveman has a bigger club than the other but nether the less they are both using clubs. Group 1 will use various grades of sandpaper rubbing compounds and polish to force the removal of oxidation along with much of the lens natural surface including the factory applied UV coating. Results of cheap abrasive cleaners Group 2 will use abrasive creams in order to wear down the oxidation. these creams may or may not work on your headlights and if they do they will continue to cut into your lens beyond the oxidation creating thousands of fine scratches over the surface. These will make themselves evident after you wash the car. For a little more money Group 2 offers an abrasive cream product with a sealer that will keep your headlight looking shiny a little longer but ultimately the sealer will turn yellow and begin to peel leaving your headlights in worse condition. |
| WHY DID THE CAVEMAN- FEAR FIRE? "IT WAS SOMETHING HE COULDN'T CONTROL" |
| THERE WAS A TIME OF INNOCENCE, A TIME BEFORE FIRE WHEN MEN ATE THEIR MEAT RAW, THEN ONE MAN GAVE HIS LIFE DISCOVERING FIRE SO THAT WE WHO LIVE TODAY CAN COOK OUR MEAT, IT IS HIS TECHNOLOGY WE REMEMBER |
| DURING A DEMONSTRATION OF HIS HAND SANDING ABILITIES, THE BOLDER ELBO GRIEF WAS SANDING BURST INTO WHAT COULD ONLY BE DESCRIBED LATER AS FLAME. NEITHER ELBO NOR THE SPECTATORS KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF IT. AS THE FLAME GREW BRIGHTER THE CAVEMEN BEGIN TO PANIC, SOME WONDERED IF THEY SHOULD LEAVE. SINCE ELBO HAD CREATED IT THEY LOOKED TO HIM FOR ANSWERS. ELBO ASSURED EVERYONE" HE COULD BUFF IT OUT" AND RAN TOWARD THE FLAME. FOR A WHILE IT LOOKED AS IF ELBO WAS GAINING CONTROL.... THAT IS WHEN HIS BUFFING ARM IGNITED AND ELBO A LONG WITH THE ONLOOKERS WERE ALL ENGULFED IN FLAME, SAID THE DECIDERS WHO ARRIVED AT THE SCENE LATER SEVERAL EYE WITNESSES DESCRIBED THE AMAZEMENT TURNED TO HORROR WHEN THEY REALIZED THE FLAME WAS HOT. ONE EYE WITNESS TOLD OF ELBO'S LOOK OF AMAZEMENT WHEN THE FLAMES FIRST ERUPTED. "HE DIDN'T SEEM TO KNOW WHERE THE FLAME CAME FROM AND HE HAD THAT LOOK OF CRAZED ABANDONMENT ON HIS FACE, HIS FIRST REACTION WAS TO RUN AWAY BUT WHEN PEOPLE SHOUTED FOR AN ENCORE HE HESITATED AND WENT BACK TO TRY TO PUT THE FLAME OUT. THATS WHEN WE FOUND OUT IT WAS HOT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT BECAUSE I LEFT." ANOTHER WITNESS WHO KNEW ELBO PERSONALLY COMMENTED. " I TOLD ELBO THAT TECHNOLOGY WAS DANGEROUS AND HE COULD DO A LOT DAMAGE BUT ELBO KEEP SAYING IT WAS SAFE AND IT COULDN'T DO ANY DAMAGE IF USED PROPERLY." SANDOR BUFFINSTUFF IMPLICATED ELBO'S MATE WAXXANNE WHEN HE SAID WAKKSANNE REQUIRED A LOT OF ELBO GRIEF AND PUSHED HIM TO DEVELOP AND PATENT HIS HAND SANDING TECHNIQUE. SHE WAS HEARD BY MANY IN THE CROWD THAT NIGHT TELLING ELBO, " FAST/ER, FASTER, ARE YOU A CROMAGNON OR A NEANDERTHAL ? IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? MAYBE YOU NEED TO GET A REAL CAVEMAN TO FINISH THE JOB FOR YOU. FASTER DAMN IT." |
| ELBO GREIF IS SURVIVED BY HIS BROTHER HANS GRINDOR AND COUSIN SANDOR BUFFINGSTUFF, THE EULOGY WAS DELIVERED BY HIS LIFE COMPANION WAKKSANNE, WHO RECENTLY GAVE BIRTH TO A SON EMERYSTONE WHO WILL MISS HIM ALSO |
| AFTER THE SHOCKING DEATH OF ELBO GREIF NEW LAWS WERE ENACTED TO CONTROL THIS AWESOME NEW POWER OF SANDING AND BUFFING A KIT WAS DEVELOPED FOR GREATER DAMAGE CONTROL AND A GUIDE WAS CREATED TO BE PASSED ON TO INSURE THAT THIS NEVER HAPPENED TO ANOTHER CAVEMAN, FOLLOWERS OF ELBO TRIED TO HIDE AND DISCREDIT THE GUIDE BUT AS MORE CAVEMEN BEGIN TO QUESTION ELBO'S METHOD THE GUIDE WAS FOUND AND SAVED FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO FOLLOW |
| There is nothing that is safer, faster, or more cost effective then the non abrasive pure liquid de-oxidizer PITTMAN'S ORIGINAL ONE STEP ACRYLIC LENS RESTORER. NEW TECHNOLOGY created this revolutionary one step process which can clear the oxidation of your headlight lens in 60 seconds. There is nothing like it on the market today. Specifically designed ; tested to clean, restore and polish ****** ON CONTACT ****** What condition are your headlights in? which can be restored and which have to be resurfaced? 1. Do you see flakes peeling off your lens? 2. Does your lens appear to have a thin layer of plastic wearing off the lens 3. Is the lens deeply pitted 4. Are there scratches visable on the surface of the lens? 5. Does the lens appear to have thousands of tiny micro fractures in it? (common with early Chrysler, Dodge, Plymouth headlights) These are conditions that go beyond the effect of natural oxidation. These lens are damaged and cannot be restored. They can be resurfaced with a complex sanding and polishing system but none of the cheap free shipping kits have what it takes to repair the damage described above. |
| IN MEMORY OF THE GREAT ELBO GREIF, CHAMPION HAND SANDER DISCOVER OF FIRE |
| EONS LATER THE DECIDERS, DECIDE TO REOPEN THE ELBO GRIEF DEATH BY FIRE CASE AND SHED NEW LIGHT ON A OLD FEUD BETWEEN BROTHERS |
| EVIDENCE UNCOVERED IN A RECENT EXPEDITION UNEARTHED A TABLET WITH ANCIENT CAVEMAN SCROLL WHICH DESCRIBED A FAMILY REUNION IN WHICH HANS GRINDOR AND WAKKSANNA ARE REPRESENTED AS HUSBAND AND WIFE. HANS HAD DEVELOPED A CRUDE FORM OF SANDPAPER THAT REPORTEDLY WORKED UNDERWATER. HE LATER JOINED WITH SANDOR BUFFINGSTUFF AND DEVELOPED THE PROTOTYPE OF TODAYS HEADLIGHT CLEANING KIT. SANDOR HAD A BROTHER WHO HAD INVENTED 101 GRIT SANDPAPER, HE HAD TO STOP AT 3500 GRIT BECAUSE THE DECIDER'S WERE CONCERNED THAT ANYTHING ABOVE THAT WOULD PRODUCE FLAME. THEY INVOKED THE ELBO GREIF ACT DUE TO THE "FEAR OF FIRE CLAUSE" IN THE CAVEMAN GUIDE TO LIVING IN A GROUP. EARLY RECORDS SHOW SANDOR WAS A MEMBER OF THE COUNCIL WHO PREVENTED HIS BROTHERS INVENTIONS FROM GETTING THE CREDIT THEY DESERVED. SANDOR HAD BECOME QUITE WEALTHY WITH HIS HEADLIGHT CLEANING KIT AND HE WORKED HARD TO CRUSH ANY NEW IDEAS OR IMPROVEMENTS ON HIS INVENTION. . |
| On the other hand 1. If your lens surface is cloudy 2. If the suface your lens are opaque 3. If the surface your lens are white 4. If the surface your lens are yellow 5. If the surface your lens are brown 6. If oxidation is so thick on your lens that no light can come through You can restore them to like new in seconds with: PITTMAN'S ORIGINAL ONE STEP ALR 100% guaranteed to perform as advertised or your money back! Each 14.7cc vial averages 100 drops and will restore 50 or more headlights There is no other product on the market today that can instantly remove oxidation from Acrylic in one step without the use of harmful abrasives, or give you as much value for your money. It is fast, safe and easy to apply. |
| CAVEMAN GUIDE TO CLEANING CLOUDY HEADLIGHTS THE CAVEMAN THEORY ON HEADLIGHT RESTORATION IN A TIME WHEN THE ONLY TOOLS AVAILABLE WERE CLUBS AND ROCKS, THE CAVEMAN INVENTED HEADLIGHT CLEANING How do you know when you're talking to a caveman? He will say things like: 1."Start out with 800 grit sandpaper then go to 1000 grit sandpaper (wet) then go to 1500 grit (wet) then go to 2000 grit (wet) then buff the lights with a good polishing compound." 2. He will become angry if you suggest there may be a better way than the method he suggests. Cavemen tend to attack things they do not understand. HOW DID THE CAVEMAN CLEAN HEADLIGHTS? First the caveman will take a perfectly good headlight, covered with natural oxidation. he does not know what this substance is or how it got there but he knows he dosen't like it. Being a caveman, his brain is capable of rudimentary thinking so he devises a plan to remove the oxidation. First thing he does is pull out the headlight beam and sit it on his work boulder. |
| Face it Caveman days are over and old myths die hard. each day thousands around the world are faced with the decision on what to do about clouded headlights. Because of misinformation provided by the Caveman, the caveman has snared many of them. Don't let the caveman snare you too. KNOWLEDGE IS YOUR FIRST LINE OF DEFENSE. |
| In constant fear of he unknown the cavemen traveled in packs for moral support. Many found safety in the caverns of Autopia. Now the deciders decided to call themselves "Experts" |
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